a blending of stix and stories
with occasional ramblings...
Wednesday, 27 January 2016
Keep Calm and Garter On...
Today is #BellLetsTalk day... where Bell donates 5cents for every tweet etc. to mental health initiatives across the country. The irony is that exactly one year ago today, I went on medical stress leave for a month. Lots have happened since then... I've come a long way since that major anxiety attack that brought me to uncontrollable tears and down to my knees. I still have a ways to go but I do recognize my growth.
It wasn't a rosy year but knowing today that I'm not where I was last this time last year has given me strength. I've re-learned to notice the anxiety moments and manage them a whole lot sooner. How? Breathing is cliché but that is a part of it. Closing my office door when I need time to myself or even just saying 'no' when I just can't deal with crowds.
And then there is knitting... surprise! I have come to enjoy the simple garter stitch. You know the one... the basic back and forth knitting. What I call my 'stupid knitting'... when I don't have to think about following a chart or counting stitches or remembering if this was the cable row or not. Simple, "I don't have to look" kinda knitting. It is these moments where can just focus on the movement of my fingers and watch the growth of the project... my Zen. There is something very pleasing about that.
When I need to quiet the mind... I've come to learn that the garter stitch is my friend... the one that is always there for you no matter what happens in your life. The one that will hold your hand and just say 'there, there' with no expectations other than knowing that that is enuff.
I'm almost finished my wee Baktus Scarf... maybe it's time to do another Doctor Who scarf... the ultimate in Zen knitting... or a test of my resolve. Either way, sometimes it really is just about the journey.